Le Monde Jouent

World Cup USA, Russia v. Sweden, July 1994
Nearly sixteen years ago my father took one of my sisters and I to a World Cup match at the Pontiac Sivlerdome in Detroit, MI. We were on vacation visiting family in Ohio and we made the jaunt to the motor city to catch a group match of the 1994 USA World Cup. For a ten year old American who had played soccer since the age of 5 the idea of seeing a match that didn't promise orange slices at halftime was foreign. Seeing a stadium packed with sixty thousand fans who weren't parents or kin was also a bit mind blowing. The 1994 World Cup held in the US may have been a bit premature for the American public at large, but I had already been playing this sport for a few years despite the heckling from kids at school who were convinced that soccer was for queers. I always found it strange that the most popular and one of the more physically demanding sports in the world was considered queer in my neck of the woods. Kicking a ball with one's feet across a field the size of Rhode Island? Apparently homoerotic. Men's wrestling? Inexplicably revered.

The first few years that I played this foreign game made for immigrants and communists (another popular slander) I was more interested in the bugs that I could find in the soil of the field than I was in the game going on around me. My old man coached the “Clifton Forge Force” youth soccer team. At about 5 or 6 years old I was put on the under 8's, the youngest age group at that point. I don't remember much about these games but I do remember vividly that when I was 5 years old, 7 and 8 year olds looked like they were on steroids. I doubt they were juicing, but picture yourself as a young boy on a field of play with an also young but much larger boy bearing down on you wearing cleats.

In my first soccer experiences, I can only imagine that I as a 5 year old reasoned that taking them on in athletic pursuits could only end poorly. In the interest of self preservation I took no interest in the game around me and instead focused on the bugs I could find in the grass. The first year or so of my soccer career consisted of my father or another coach looking over me speaking in a very Charlie Brown-esque “wah-wah-wah” tone in which I can only imagine that they were not explaining the local flora and fauna of the field.

Back to the Pontiac Silverdome in 1994: a stadium packed to the rafters on this day with rowdy Swedes and Russians. Not exactly the marquee game of the tournament but for these two countries national pride is on the line. I can imagine that no self respecting Swede would want to carry the burden of losing to a bunch of commies, and I doubt Mother Russia has any intention of losing to a band of lousy Scandinavians. We take our seats on the middle deck. Down below the Swedish fans, decked out in blue and yellow, are doing their best to make the entire stadium collapse.

I remember very little of the game itself. That's not to say that it wasn't entertaining, but the excitement and tension in the stadium is like nothing I had ever witnessed. With the game under way it was obvious that Sweden was the better team and Russia looked to just be delaying the inevitable breakdown as long as possible. The lower level of the stadium on the opposite side of the field was a rowdy sea of blue and yellow flags held up by people dressed and painted in the same colors. They were probably visible from space, and in case they were not conspicuous enough they filled the place with unbelievably loud and well synchronized chants.

Deep into the match and Sweden has owned every bit of the game. Its 2-0 in Swedens's favor and in the late minutes their star striker of that tournament, Martin Dahlen, puts one home to make it 3-0. Game, set, match. Unfortunately the Russian guy in front of us has had enough. He stands up and takes out his frustrations by pouring his entire beer on the head of a Swedish woman in front of him who had the audacity to stand up and clap when Sweden scored their third and final goal. I thought we were in the calm section of the stadium but this Russian guy just took things to another level. Unfortunately for him this was a sporting event that was taking place in the U.S.

We Americans love us some sports. I've been to some very contentious games in various sports and at various talent levels and despite the tensions between opposing fans I've rarely seen anyone get truly out of hand. The only exception would be a minor league hockey game in Roanoke, VA, I went to with my U-14 soccer team as a reward for our stellar season. A teammate and friend of mine punched an older girl behind us. Let's be honest; at minor league hockey they basically drop the puck and immediately afterwards drop their gloves so I would argue that its not a place to take young boys full of teenage angst and rage. In his defense she was being a massive “B” at the time.

So when Boris Badinov chose to dump his beer all over the Swedish lady in front of him, it took about .5 seconds for Detroit's finest to descend upon him and whisk him away to what I can only imagine was a very animated discussion of the fact that he had just assaulted someone on foreign soil. Russia got their ass handed to them in that game so I can only infer that the Russian embassy was flush with calls that evening about their citizens being detained in the Detroit metro area as a result of misdirected fits of rage.

A crisis of loyalties
As I write this 32 countries who have qualified have arrived in South Africa for the 2010 World Cup. Supporting the United States is a no brain-er. And this year you could honestly say that we have a team capable of making a deep run in the tournament. Our first three games are against England (today!), Algeria and Slovenia. No disrespect to Algeria or Slovenia, but we should qualify from our group and be in the mix later on in the tournament. A victory over the Brits in our first game would be especially sweet. We play England this evening and I have traveled to Maroua where there is a bar with a projection screen outside. I am clad in a button down shirt and pants made out of Barack Obama fabric courtesy of my mother, and my friend from village is decked out in the same ensemble. I'm pretty certain that we look absolutely ridiculous, but I've seen more bizarre outfits and costumes worn by sports fans. Its possible that there will be a large American flag on hand as well, so I expect that we'll be a spectacle out of the ordinary from the normal bar patrons on match days. I ask any self respecting American reading this right now to watch the U.S.A vs. England match later on regardless of your interest in soccer. It's on a Saturday so you have absolutely no excuse. Home Depot and Bed, Bath and Beyond are probably open on Sunday, so sit your behind in front of the nearest TV around 10 or 11AM EST.

Over the past week I've been lobbying Cameroonians hard to get behind the United States for our game against England. It's not difficult. Most Cameroonians watched the Confederations Cup last summer when we beat Spain (#2 in the world) 2-0, and came close to beating Brazil (#1) in the final. After seeing a team like the United States, talented but by no means in the elite, take on and beat some of the best we've won many admirers in this country. Athletic, organized and capable of an upset, I dare say that the U.S. could go far this year.

Les Lions Indomptables
I enjoy watching African teams at the World Cup as well. They play fast and physical in a way that can be overwhelming for opponents. It's an interesting mix of innate attacking skill, tenacity in midfield, and total defensive chaos that defies comprehension. Yet win or lose, a match involving an African side usually promises entertainment. Being here in Cameroon I feel I now have a vested interest in an African team's success at the tournament that I've never felt towards any team other than the USA.

How is Cameroon going to fare? They are in a tough group with the Netherlands, Denmark and Japan and qualification to the next round is no guarantee. Netherlands is by far the best team of the group. Cameroon on its best day could get second place and just maybe contest Netherlands for first place. On their average day, which has been all too common recently, they would most likely get embarrased by all three teams. Unfortunately Cameroon has been frustratingly inconsistent as of late. They had an unusual amount of trouble qualifying for the tournament playing lesser teams such as Togo, Morocco, and neighbors Gabon. I have great hopes for them, but I always wonder when watching them when the meltdown is going to occur.

Yet Cameroon is arguably the most illustrious team in Africa. They were the first nation in Africa to get to the quarter-finals of the World Cup (in 1990) which is no small feat. They've won the African Cup of Nations numerous times, and claimed Olympic Gold at the 2000 games in Sydney. One of the more memorable moments of all World Cups has to be from their amazing quarter final run in 1990. Roger Milla was Cameroon's hero as they beat a number of more illustrious teams, including defending champs Argentina. He scored numerous goals and after each one he would sprint to the nearest corner flag and dance around it in celebration.

Unfortunately, the other recent World cups in '94, '98 and '06 (they didn't qualify in 2002) have been extremely disappointing for Cameroon. Each time they've been unceremoniously knocked out in the group stages and left their countrymen wanting more. If they qualify from their group this year I'd say that would be enough to keep people in this country from rioting and setting things on fire. Anything less than making it to the 2nd round would be a disappointment. However it all comes down to Samuel Eto'o, the most well known Cameroonian player. I want to say he is the hero of Cameroon but in truth, lesser players (Roger Milla) have done more for Cameroon in the past than this uber-talented individual. Spending most of his professional football career at FC Barcelona and just this past season at Internazionale Milan, he's won the Champion's League 3 times. Eto'o is among the greatest to ever play the game by winning this competition 3 times while playing a crucial role with every team he's ever won it with. In short he has been absolutely unstoppable for any professional team he has ever represented. The only problem is that Samuel Eto'o is inexplicably quiet when he plays for Cameroon. The entire Cameroonian nation, through all the day to day hardship and nonsense they endure, place many of their emotions into the successes and failures of their team. For their sake I hope “Les Lions Indomptables” step up to the plate this time around and give them something to cheer about. Either way the country will probably take to the streets. I'd just prefer they take to the streets waving the national flag and not pitchforks and torches.

Samuel Eto'o is by no means the only big name player on Cameroon's national squad. There are players who play at some of the best professional clubs in Europe: England, Italy, Spain, France, Germany, and throughout countless other countries across the globe. Cameroonians are scattered about the professional ranks of these nations and are often at the most talented clubs and playing integral roles. The only question is if they can come together as a nation and put their individual successes and professional athlete persona's aside and make an effort to cause some upsets. “On est ensemble” (We are together) is a popular phrase in this country. Here's to hoping they personify it in on the field in South Africa.

And then there were 3
If splitting my loyalties amongst two teams wasn't hard enough, this World Cup has presented me with a third nation that merits my support. By some miracle New Zealand has qualified for the tournament this year. New Zealand booked their ticket to South Africa by beating juggernauts such as Fiji, Samoa and Bahrain. If you play the numbers and look at who New Zealand has to play in the World Cup you'll know they are up a creek without a paddle.

The kiwis find themselves with matches against Italy, Paraguay and Slovakia. Italy are the defending World Cup champions and have won the tournament five or six times. Paraguay, to qualify for the World Cup, had to play against the likes of Brazil, Argentina, Chile, Colombia, etc. They are no pushovers. I really have no idea about Slovakia, but if they qualified from the European continent that tells me that they are a tough team. If New Zealand even scores a goal in their first three matches I'll be pleased. I mean no disrespect. Besides I imagine they are more concerned with the Rugby World Cup taking place on their home soil next year.

One thing I must state before we move on is to explain why NZ is actually in the World Cup in the first place. A few years ago, Australia's soccer team (the “Socceroo's,”...hows that for a lame moniker?) moved from the Oceania region to the Asia region. The reason for this was that Australia has a fairly strong football team and Oceania never receives an automatic bid to the World Cup (e.g.- New Zealand had to beat Bahrain, the 4th placed team in Asia, in a playoff before qualifying for the World Cup). I'm not crediting Australia for NZ's fortune. Those convicts can have Asia. They were just too afraid of Bahrain to stay in the Oceania region. That's right I said it. Australia is afraid of Bahrain. They thought “Crikey!, We can't beat those Bahrainis. Let the Kiwis play 'em.”

The best and worst WC moments from Cameroon:
1)1990- defeating World Cup champs Argentina
2)1990- Roger Milla's trademark cornerflag dance goal celebrations (click here to watch)
3)1990- Taking England to the wire in the quarterfinals but falling just short
4)1994- Losing to Russia 6-1.
5)1998- Pierre Njanka's ridiculous goal against Austria (click here to watch)

The best and worst WC moments from USA:
1)1994- beating Colombia 3-2 to advance to the final stages
2)1998- losing 2-1 to Iran. It was not pretty to watch
3)2002- taking down Portugal 3-2 in their first match of the tournament
4)2002- beating arch-rival Mexico 2-0 to advance to quarter-finals
5)2002- getting beat by Germany 1-0 in the quarters after a terrible penalty decision. The ref obviously hated freedom.

Opening Day:
The World Cup actually began yesterday. In the evening the hosts, South Africa (Bafana Bafana), took on Mexico (El Tricolor) and France (Les Bleus) played Uruguay. I don't like to watch any sporting event on an empty stomach, but what you might consider your average game day fare is a little tough to come by in Bogo. I explained buffalo wings to a friend and the concept of a huge heaping plate of nothing but wings and legs nearly made his head explode. What did you do with all the quadriplegic chickens???

But alas, I was planning ahead last week in Maroua and before returning to Bogo I stopped at Marché Abatoire and picked up some stuff that isn't available in village. And when I say marché I'm not talking about Harris Teeter. Putting together a game day feast here is perhaps more challenging. Wandering the stacks of veggies, colorful spices, butcher tables with piles of fly covered raw flesh, and young kids hawking everything in between I'm able to put together what looks like a decent bag of groceries to cook up something tasty.

Game day has arrived and I begin the day with a small amount of work in a mango orchard. Just enough to defend my intention of watching every single game of the Cup. Everything here shuts down during games anyways so I don't think its unreasonable to just work mornings for the next month :) The work is done early and I then made my way to the Bogo market for a few small items. Afterwards I drop some clothes off with the catholic mission where the cook will wash them provided I buy the soap and pay per article of clothing. I gave up on doing my own laundry here a long time ago. Anytime anyone sees me washing something they make a very disappointed clucking sound and seem to take great pleasure in explaining that I have no idea what I'm doing. Fair enough, you do 'em.

Returning home I begin the prep work for my game day feast. Its a very informal affair. A small number of folks are aware of my intention to prepare food, sit down and watch the South Africa-Mexico game, cook dinner, and then watch the France-Uruguay game while eating it. I've told them to come over for the games and a meal is on offer as well if they'd like. Come watch my TV and eat my food; the Coupe du Monde puts me in a strange frame of mind, I admit.

Peel and dice the mangoes. Juice the limes. Cut the green peppers and green beans. Wash, peel and cut the potatoes. Slice the onions, step outside to cry a bit, and repeat both steps a few times. Cut hot peppers without touching them as they are nuclear. Wash skins off the peanuts. Peel and chop the garlic. Peel and chop the ginger. Dice the basil and mint. Mix up a concoction of dried spices. And with that the prep work for my spicy mango salad and yellow curry is complete! If I told you which ingredients went where and when I'd have to kill you.

South Africa vs. Mexico- The game starts and Mexico looks to be the better team. Its 0-0 at halftime but Mexico had a goal disallowed by the referee. The linesman called offsides but it was not even close to being offsides. Its such a bad call that it begs the question of whether the refs are deliberately favoring the hosts. In the second half South Africa needs no such help and opens the scoring with what is the first, and when all is said and done, could be one of the best goals of the tournament. The team's goal celebration wasn't bad either. Canal Sport shows us the replay about 50 times at countless angles and speeds, and I can't see it enough. To make it even better it was scored by some guy named Tshabalala. Not only has he scored what could be one of the best goals we see throughout the Cup, but he is also a candidate for having the best name. Mexico looks to be in trouble, but then about 20 minutes later they score a nice goal off of a freekick to tie it up. The match ends 1-1 after lots of end to end entertainment. Keep an eye on South Africa in their next few matches. They are by no means a great team but they put together some really nice football and play without fear.

The mango salad is mixed and keeping cool in the fridge. The curry is assembled and simmering on the stove. All that's left to do is to crack open a cold Beaufort and prepare for the France-Uruguay match, fully hoping to see France crash and burn in their first game of a World Cup that they don't deserve to be in. In their last qualifying match the ref royally screwed Ireland out of an upset win over Les Bleus.

France vs. Uruguay (and dinner)- Sadly this game was nowhere near as entertaining as the first. I blame France. Uruguay actually looked like they wanted to score throughout the game. The french were just going through the motions and playing some really boring football. Uruguay had a player ejected in the second half, and they played the rest of the game stuck in their own half. Nevertheless they looked good and got a 0-0 result against France. In all truth they were unlucky not to pull off an uspet. The salad and curry are pretty damn good. Shame that I couldn't say the same for the evening game.


Interesting things to watch during the tournament:

-Can the Bafana Bafana (South Africa) make it out of their difficult preliminary group?If not they'd be the first hosts in history to fail to do so. The 1-1 tie with Mexico is a decent start.
-What uniform will Cameroon show up in? They've had some pretty crazy ones in recent past, most notably the sleeveless muscle shirts they wore a few years back, no doubt scaring the crap out of the opposition.
-Who will Bob Bradley choose as his starters? In his three or four years as USA coach I don't think he's ever picked the same starting eleven.
-Can an African team(s) break through to the end of the tournament? No African team has ever gotten past the quarter-finals. Cameroon did it in 1990 and Senegal did so in 2002. The Cup is on African soil this year so I think it can be done. Will it be 'Les Elephants' of the Ivory Coast, the Ghana 'Black Stars,' or maybe the 'Super Eagles' of Nigeria? Who knows, maybe even 'Les Lions Indomptables' of Cameroon could do it. They've all got a shot, and we here in Cameroon will be supporting Les Lions first and foremost. Yet I've enjoyed seeing Cameroonians express support not only for their nation but for all the African nations, as if there is a higher goal for the continent at large.